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How can you hold both of those lives together in the same house? It’s nearly impossible to live with both this holding yourself in a position of being loved, cherished, and adored, as well as living with somebody who is abusive, negligent, lying, and manipulating. When they’re choosing the drugs, alcohol, porn, sex, or whatever over you, that’s them telling you with their actions that you’re worthless. If they’re abusing you, telling you you’re worthless, that you don’t deserve, you’re not worthy of love, it becomes nearly impossible. Here’s the loving truth: it’s nearly impossible to feel that way about yourself when you’re living with and loving someone who’s doing the exact opposite. I’m talking about you recognizing that within yourself first.Īnd this is important, stay with me here. Let’s be clear I’m not talking about being loved and cherished and recognized by another human being. And don’t believe that you’re worth being abused. Don’t allow somebody to treat you like this. You are being mistreated, and that whisper will be a loving whisper saying there’s more. It may be suggesting that you’re deserving of more, that this is miserable and it’s not going to change.
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It’s within you and starts out as a whisper, and that whisper is suggesting that there is something better out there. And to listen for the greater voice instead. To let go of the voice of addiction that’s been playing in your head for years. It will be the mission, and the purpose of your life to rise above that. This is your greatest calling today and forever. Whatever it takes to keep you under control.Īnd this, my friend, is the fight of your life. Addiction might use the children against you, and say that no one will ever believe you. It might scare you within the intimidation of finances and tell you that you’re going to go broke and that there’s no way that you can financially survive on your own. It may tell you to shut the up and call you names.Īddiction might tell you that you’re worthless and that if you ever leave, you’ll never find anyone that’s good enough, that you don’t deserve love, that you don’t deserve happiness.
It will call you to berate you in the middle of the day. So for some of us that looks like intimidation. And your partner may be scared too.Īddiction gets nervous, and it will try to do anything and everything to get you back under control to get you back under its spell. And instead, you’re finding your whisper, your voice.Īddiction gets scared. It’s the moment addiction knows that you’re listening to your whisper, that you’re finding your voice, and that you’re no longer going to be fooled by the voice of addiction. The moment that addiction catches a wave of this new idea, or gets any indication or hints of what you’re thinking, it gets scared. Or that you’re done and that this is it and you’ve had enough, and you want a new life, and you’re daring to dream of your new future. The moment that you decide that you’re going to step away from this relationship, that you’re going to take a pause, you’re going to separate or divorce. So listen, addiction has kept you under its thumb for so long. Addiction is the reason why your relationship is in such turmoil and chaos and is so difficult because of that third party. Then lastly, there’s the disease of addiction, which is the third party, kind of like the mistress. We fell in love with somebody who is loving, kind, and thoughtful.Īnd then there’s us as part of this relationship. So that’s why I often refer to it as a separate entity. So it’s us, our partners, and their addiction. And for those of you that are new to our community, we consider addiction to be the third party in our relationships. Its role in your life has been the controller.
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It wants to hide your voice, your whisper.
#The whisperer episodes how to
It’s trying to tell you how to feel, how to think, how to behave, how to act.Īddiction wants to be the loud voice in your head telling you that you can’t. There’s a way to find your voice, your whisper, and let go of the voice of addiction.Īnd sometimes I do mean that literally when we decide to leave addiction, most of us will be leaving someone who doesn’t want to be left.Īnd why is that? Because addiction likes control.